Okay this picture pissed me off.

Yes most of you non-IE users may find this glorious, but the fact of the matter is - you're all ignorant.

Firefox rant - Using Firefox on and off for a long time has taught me that its the biggest piece of shit. While all you web dev nerds will be all like OMG FIRECOCKS BEST BROWSAH OPEN SOURCE OMG ibfeigbeigk, IT DOES NOT CONFORM TO STANDARDS. STOP SAYING IT DOES. Secondly you're probably using IE8 (ISNT THAT THE LATEST?!?!?!?!?!?!1??SHIFT?! NO FUCK YOU), because you didn't upgrade, polluting the world with the smoke of your BURNING FOX SLOW PISSY JAVASCRIPT ENGINE.

Over the years, IE has developed this reputation as a "web developer's nightmare." OH YOU SO FUNNY WEB DEVELOPERS. YES OKAY IE4 and 5/5.5 were bad, and IE6 was too but at least it only used about 20MB of RAM as opposed to your BURNING RAM HOG which uses 300MB WHENEVER IT DAMN WELL FEELS LIKE. If you're going to develop a web browser and CLAIM that its better than IE, WITHOUT EVEN TESTING IE, at least design the software properly and not like a piece of shit rolling on the floor.

WHATS THAT? IE8 BLOCKS 90% OF MALWARE AND FIREFOX BLOCKS 19%? What a shitbucket. "OH BUT I DON'T GET MALWARE, YOURE STUPID IF YOU DO" thats not the POINT. Another case of NOT DESIGNED PROPERLY by inexperienced, arrogant open-source teams. Oh what's this firefox/mozilla? you're asking for money now? EVERYWHERE? Every bloody page I go to of yours, whether it be addons or something, YOURE ASKING FOR MONEY. I thought the whole point of open-source was to eliminate capitalist monopolies. If you knew you were releasing software for non-profit, you shouldve damn well made sure that you had a reliable income of another form. Oh what's this, you do? THEN STOP ASKING FOR MONEY, greedy idiots.

Look up the benchmarks, IE9 wins in A LOT of them over firefox.

There's no denying chrome is the fastest browser, but it too does not conform to standards. I think you'll find IE9 DOES CONFORM to standards. Object tag? Sure! Firefox? NO USE EMBED OH WAIT IT DOESNT VALIDATE, WE CONFORM TO STANDARDS LOLOLOLOL -__-

IE9 loads pages FASTER than firefox, it starts up FASTER than firefox, well known as the slowest starting browser of all time and has been for 10 years or however long that stupid project has been going on. IE9 LOOKS better, no stupid ugly orange button. IE9 has MORE EFFICIENT dev tools, very similar to Chrome's, not some stupid fancy weird graphical black shit and 3D view HAHAH SO USEFUL OH WAIT IT BREAKS YOUR LAYOUT screw you and your stupid features FF.

Chrome rant - LETS CRASH ON THE NEW TAB PAGE. Built in flash player, LETS CRASH. Built in PDF reader, LETS HOG ALL THE RESOURCES. Browser, lets use 200MB of RAM for one tab, 500MB for 5 or more!!!!! OMNOMNOM RAM BUY MOAR OMG WE'RE GOOGLE MAKE GOOGLE RAM SO WE CAN MONOPOLISE EVEN MORE - I won't even get onto my Google rant. p.s. use bing. IE9 uses the least RAM of any browser.

Safari rant - Supposedly its actually fast for a lot of things? Might give it a go, probably better for mac though.

Opera rant - Meh.

What a leap from IE8 to IE9. People, get over your ignorance and moronic assumptions about IE, and USE IE9. IE10 is the best browser ever made but only available for Windows 8. On another note, get Windows, get rid of your shitty open source shit, shitbuntu shit.

Summary:
- Firefox has a shit javascript engine.
- Firefox has shit startup times.
- Firefox has shit pageload times.
- Firefox does NOT conform to standards.
- Firefox asks for too much money.
- Firefox is ugly.
- Firefox is slow.
- Firefox is not on fire. It is however a BURNING FOX OF RAGE.
- Firefox is a piece of shit.
- IE9 is amazing based on factual evidence and extended use.
- Chrome is decent, and the fastest. But use Chromium or Iron instead, PLEASE.

Any comments that disagree with me will be nominated for speedy deletion.

p.s. my main browser is Firefox 12 stable (as of this post). trolololol

1 comments

1 comments

Archibald Puddington said... @ June 4, 2012 at 10:09 AM

I concur.

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